What are you, and why?

Hello. I’m Paul. I’m a comedy writer and illustrator from (almost) London, England, with a head full of questionable ideas, annoying levels of curiosity, and a background in film. I am mostly poor, and will probably remain so forever because art is fun and the internet killed books. That’s fine – I chose to write jokes for a living, and should accept the consequences. Money is for plumbers.

But where did you come from?


It has been plausibly suggested that I came from the vagina of an Earthling, who also came from the vagina of an Earthling, and so on and so on, for billions of years, until my ancestors were only a fraction of a millimetre in length. If you think that’s implausible, you should hear the alternatives.

Despite coming from Earth, I often like to write about life and people from an alien perspective, given how silly I think our species would often look from the moon. I’m also a massive fan of being alive.

My adult life has consisted mostly of travelling and faffing, although I have also completed a degree in Scriptwriting for Film and Television and an English (as Foreign Language) teaching qualification, which scientifically proves I can use both a comma and the phrase inciting incident. Since then, my life-long pilgrimage to avoid a ‘proper’ job has chased me from place to place, finally planting me in what might be the Holy Mecca of Delayed Responsibility: Berlin.

In between murdering the German language and apologising for myself, I still shamelessly insist on writing jokes in exchange for economic tokens. Most recently, I have written a handful of humour books, which I hope will one day make a great additions to your toilet. (Honestly, I would consider there no higher honour than entering your most visited library.)

My blog – hencewise.com – is where I get all excited about the most profound and interesting things I’ve learned about this strange existence. Articles here mix big ideas with little jokes. It’s a blog of science, philosophy, a splash of self-help, and an absurdist perspective on life, with this as its guiding motto: if you’re going to to open your mind… try not to let your brain fall out.

Can you be funny for money?

If you want to be friends, except with money involved, then please feel free to contact me. I am a qualified screenwriter (I know, what a world) and a Der Spiegel best-selling author. I have also written magazine features, articles for print and digital media, script reports, short films, online games, website copy, and posters (‘how do you write a poster?’) I have a background in film, story development, and apparently once broke an industry record for falling asleep on a film set in the role of a Script Supervisor. I wouldn’t suggest hiring me for that, but for other film, words and/or joke related work, I’d love to hear from you.

For books, I am represented by Landwehr & Cie.

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